the professors dont TEACH & im paying for them.. im paying for a piece of paper.. i ask my self everyday..
why the fuck am i here?
i hate it here.
the black community is small. my first impression was "errbody in errbody business & errbody fuckin errbody".. my impressions are changing, but im still not satisfied, because these people aint authentic... they aint even mature like i thought they'd be.
i fuckd my schedule up..
mwf : 10am- macro economics (i havnt even taken micro, which is needed to take macro) & 3pm - Calculus (which is a pain in the FUCKIN ASS)
tTh : 9:30 psychology (the easiest, teacher real cool) & 3:30- sociology (teacher cool, but we have noo work, & im not motivated to read blackboard like that homie)
--->so i have a large gap in my day.. everyday.
After i came back home from cali, a LOTTA shit changed & a LOTTA shit happended. I experienced sooo much in that last month of my summer; which maybe one day later on ill tell yall about; but for now, its nunya bidnaz.. all ill say is that i got into some shit. and i had to get myself out..
Corey hasn't been callin me for the past 3 weeks.
its depressing. our relationship is depressing. i dont understand.
He's been so busy hustlin, tryna eat right & make sure his mom livin right that he cant even call me..
can you believe he emailed me though....
He aint internet type of nigga but he'll email me a few words... shits fucked..
i went off on him, and he went off back.. i gues she go a lil resentment build towards me... cus ima flower feen and he dont always feel like givin me flowers in every situation.. its all good though.. we coulda worked thru that.. buuuuttt. our communication is broken..
BUUUT most recently ive been attracted to a fruit on campus; the only real nigga ive peep'd YET, besides maybe a few freshman (but ion do lil niggas my age cus they mind not ready). BUT we ain got to the REAL REAL yet, but I DEEIIID peep some gardening skills, by accident..
it was DEFINATELY permanent landscaping skills. his skills were sooo legit, he didnt even garden, he just tended a lil bit and boyyyy i've never felt so great about my garden in my life... but im too emotional to get started on that gardener to gardener type shit they got goin here in college....
ion like sharin gardeners... my tools are my tools. the end. i enjoy gardening too much to let a landscaper slip through my hands.. bt EH..
he got his own services.. i cnt limit a nigga to one customer... so blagagagagagblahahakakjfashsshahhaksmuckpsh.
ive been depressed since school started... i hate it here for VARIOUS reasons....being here has made me realize theres alotta damn things wrong with me. alotta things missing, alotta thins broken. Adjusting to change.... mmm. eh. ugh.
one thing keepin me sane---------------------------------->>>
BUT. i saw this picture last night, and decided to stop cryin about shit i cnt control, and just live my MUTHAFUCKIN LIFE.
cus i only live it once...
and that's what ima do from now on...
the shit thats been goin on has been way too intense to sum up into one legit ass blog, so excuse my scattered thoughts.
This is the final & most important thought that i want to leave with:::::
& this is what its gon be....
BEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTCCHHHH!!!!!
-Killa Cali -livin life!!!!
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