I mean i understand in middle school not letting your kids go out, I went to my first party in the 6th grade and had the best time of my life.. I never asked to go to any in the 7th or 8th, but when my 9th grade year hit.. I WANTED OUT!
Ever since an incident my sophomore year at a party near my house when my friend got jumped while we were waiting for my mom to pick us up I've been doomed in being allowed to go out. We got into so much shit that night with the laws; having to drive back up there. parents meeting. filing reports... so much drama & my mom never wanted me to go out again... so i barely EVER even ask.. unless i really wanted to go..
But we've worked past that.. and she's let me loose more this year than previous years, being that I'm basically grown enough to make my own decisions and carry my own...
BUT, ever since I've graduated from high school she's been tripping....
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKIN REASON UNDER THE SUN as to why the HELL i wouldn't be able to go out to a party at this point in my life...
I am 18 years old... out of school.. working.. taking care of my damn responsibilities.. Who gives a fuck if i want to go out every night of the WEEK, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO....
So for her to say "your partying too much" or "you cant be at EVERY party that pops up" is PURE bullshit and i wont hear ANY of it...
she can honestly kiss my ass on THAT note, and i plan to show her over the course of the next 2 months.
I try to be nice about the situation...
I try to be a lil honest & tell her where im going every once in a while & then she goes and pulls the "no" bullshit... see.. that causes for me to HAVE to lie.. smh.
She has NO iDEAAAAAAAAA what goes on with me..
she doesn't know who i am.. she knows nothing of MY life besides what i LET her see. I'm barely home, & when i am home I'm in MY room minding my business...
She & I have no interpersonal relationship.. we don't talk about much.. ever; i learned young that i cant just talk to her about shit because she cant handle certain things from me. she wants to take over and control MY situations.. she thinks too hard on them. so ever since the 8th grade I have kept to myself on personal relations and life lessons..
The only time we talk is when i feel like telling her something.. or asking.. Its funny because all the years I've grown up she's ALWAYS on the phone talking to her friends... about their problems, their kids; always giving advice. She just graduated from College with her bachelors in psychology. But I am the only person immune to her service.
I make plans ALL THE TIME on my OWN agenda and i get my shit taken care of. ALONE.
she taught me that..
how to be self sufficient.
and if i were out on my own right now i could live comfortably and make good enough decisions to take myself far. I'm just taking advantage of my childhood rights right now... which include free housing and food, phone (besides Internet) and transportation... cable is nice but i don't watch tv.... she pays the car insurance.. i pay for my tickets, accidents, and gas..
I could be cut from all the free shit and STILL make it with out her..
I graduated with honors, have great accomplishments, not pregnant, never been, always doing something productive, never getting into shit that REGULAR teenagers get into.. i steer away from all the extra added stress that i know could be put on her..
&& ALL I ASK IS TO GO TO A FUCKIN PARTY and i cant even do THAT?
are you serious?
I understand the whole "my house, my rules" concept.. or the whole "because I SAID SO" concept as well, but at this point; to deny me something so simple is the perfect way to rise resentment & rebellion.....
It could all be so damn simple, but she loves complications. She will NEVER have enough shit to do to not worry about me at a party.. which is something she will have absolutely no control over in 2 months, and i am completely oblivious to WHY she is trying to lock me down NOW... of all times..
NOW the shit shouldn't even matter..
buuuuutt unfortunately it does... and one of these days. i just wont come home.. I'll just be completely rebellious and end up doing what the fuck i want just to prove my point.. and when she bounces back with that "oh, you wanna do things your way well GET THE FUCK OUT" move, then ill surprise her EVEN MORE by having constructed a plan to be on my own....(which I've been working on since the age of 13) so that whenever i DO decided to just go against the grain, everything will be set. and there wont be a damn thing she can do about it but sit and think of WHY she just didn't let me go OUT to the got damn PARTY!!!!
I'm way too clever to be fucked with..
You also cant limit the exercise of a master mind. there is no limit to where my mind can go.. and i have instincts that will take me far....
far enough to park my car. get out. walk in. SHOW OUT. leave lasting impressions. get back in my car. and then go home..........
You see, she's only in as much control as I LET her be honestly.. I coulda been out this thang a LONG time ago... I just like living for free... with the "love" of my family and friends.. comfortably.. but, when i cant be honest and upfront about shit, that causes for me to hate my home.. (which i have disliked for a good 5 years now) and live UNCOMFORTABLY... soooo. i gotta do my own thing when its called for...
party party party..
if i cant go to it. ill bring it home...
hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh as a kiiiteeeee!
